I guess I was one of the lucky ones who enjoyed her pregnancy to the fullest. I loved the usual food trips with friends, no lines because you’re pregnant, VIP parking space, healthy food and sometimes you get your usual cravings but along with these great advantages is the common fear by most pregnant women, the fear for the big DAY.
I was due to give birth from April 11-15, 2016 but some of my friends told me that it might be a week early or a week late. Few weeks before my due date the mister already told me that he might not be able to be present when I give birth to our child, so I already prepared myself, mentally, emotionally and physically. My mom was also reluctant of having me to go through long trips because she’s afraid I might pop along the way.
I, on the other hand, read lots of books and blogs about the pain during labor. I wasn’t so familiar with contractions because I seldom get them, sometimes I only feel a strong electric urge in my pelvic area but I rarely get them, so there was no constant feeling of how labor really feels. I’ve watched a lot of youtube videos but I cringe to the sight of how painful it is.
But on that faithful 3rd day of April, while me, my mom and grandma ate our dinner after church. I felt a sudden urge to pee, it felt not the usual discharge down under. I went to the toilet and saw tiny specks of pinkish color discharge on my panty liner. I checked my notes and read that sometimes this is what they call “the bloody show” and labor would normally start a day or two after the show, so I was just calmed and went back and ate my steak.
After eating I wanted to pee again, so I went ahead for the second time. I never felt any strange feeling at all, we went home right away and I went straight into my room because I wanted to pee for the third time. I messaged my cousin and asked her how does labor feels? While checking all my hospital bags, I washed myself and changed to wear my maternity pads, I was checking my phone when I felt the most bizarre sensation and ran immediately towards the toilet. I was like, “Was that what I think it was?” I messaged again my cousin and changed my clothes again. I carried all my bags and smiled at my mom and asked her, “Kung naay tubig pero di kaayo daghan tubig slight lang, mao na bana?” (I think my water just broke but there’s not much water, is this what I think it is?) with a big smile. Good thing my mom did not panicked, she just stood up, changed and we drove right away to the hospital.
It was around nine in the evening when we arrived at the emergency room and trust me, I did not feel anything at all. They took me directly to the delivery room because my water just broke. The doctors checked if my bag of water was still in tact and how dilated I was. While they were checking on me, all I could think was “Is this really it? I’m not yet ready! I haven’t messaged my husband, my phone? Wait my mom, does she know what is happening?” All those thoughts were bothering me and when the doctor told me that I shall be admitted, I was like “NO, This is not happening.”
I was then brought to the Labor Room, they whisked me with so many wires and so many machines, some nurses, interns or doctors were checking on my contractions, asking if I feel any pain and all I could answer was nothing. At a scale of 1-10, I told them zero. All I can feel is the uneasiness of the discharge, I was wearing an adult diaper and had troubles peeing because I was hooked with so many wires. They gave me some medicines to help me with my contractions but after four hours nothing has changed. The pain scale was still three. They told me to sleep because it might take awhile but I couldn’t sleep at all. I was up and I was just feeling the movements of my baby.
At six in the morning they gave me my breakfast and told me that they might increase the dosage of the medicine, I was okay with it since I never felt any pain at all. After three hours they checked on my pain scale and I said around four. I was even chitchatting with the interns because I was really bored doing nothing.
After lunch, they increased again the dosage and warned me that I might start to feel the pain. I was still doing okay two hours after. But at three in the afternoon, I started to feel the sensation at the back of my spine. I felt a wave of contractions, it wasn’t the worst pain yet but it was too much than my usual contractions. At five in the afternoon, the worst of all the worst pain started already and my pain scale jump from four to seven. It was not what the books had told me, nor the blogs had described it, this is not what they call the worst menstrual cramps, this pain was much much worse than anything I’ve every felt and trust me I am not exaggerating at all. I am not a wimp, I’ve had my fair share of painful tattoo stories and bikini wax sessions. I broke down and told the intern I couldn’t do this anymore, the pain was just really bad and I think I was going to die. Good thing I was the only person inside the labor room, I was able to shout, banged the bed, punch the wall and I even started to stand up to ease the pain. I was asking my doctor how was I doing? But sadly, I was still 6cm, 100% effaced and everything seems to be slowing down. The contractions were sharp and painful.
When the doctor checked again, I was already 8cm, 100% effaced but it’s getting slower and slower, at six in the evening I was starting to get discouraged, I was holding the intern in-charge and I felt sorry for her because I was holding her too tight. I was slapping my butt to ease the back pain, draped over the side of the bed, laid down, stood up, doing the cat pose. I shouted violently and called my mom for help hahahaah!.
Worst, I was also thirsty but I was no longer allowed to drink any fluids, so I was irritable and annoyed and when the doctor checked I was then 9cm, 100% effaced, it was quite a relief but she can see my baby’s head and told me not to push yet. I shouted at hear with plea, crying and laughing at the same time that I wasn’t the one pushing it but it was my body trying to push. After fifteen minutes I asked the intern to check again how dilated I was but I was still at 9cm. So I pleaded and asked the doctor to check again and again but they were afraid that there might be an infection because my water already broke. Desperate and helpless, I experienced waves of pain and pressure to an intensity that I never thought existed. I was grunting and growling already, I felt I was possessed with bad spirits because I couldn’t believe that sound emerged from me. Finally, when I reached 10cm, my doctor told me to practice pushing. We did a couple of practices and right after the Doctor saw my baby’s head it was go-time.
Everything was so fast and a blur because everyone was busy prepping up. I was asked to transfer to a wheel chair and all I could think of was to push this baby out. When we arrived at the Delivery Room, everything was like the ones I see in the movies. When everything was all set, I can hear everyone was cheering on me, I started with two small pushes and his head came out very fast. I felt the sudden rush of water and relief coming out from my pelvis and then I felt happy and like a wonder woman after I made that one final long push and used up my body’s strength to get my baby out. They pulled him out and everyone was shocked because he looked so big, it was because he had this super cute chubby cheeks. They put him on my chest and all I could remember was his warm touch and how tiny he is. He cried for a short time but was already comfortable on my arms. He stayed there for almost an hour while the doctor was fixing everything down under. I was just staring at him, holding him. I was tired but I can’t seem to take my eyes off him. I was about to tear up but I was distracted by the questions of the doctors and they had to take him to be weighed. That took almost 24 hours of infinite labor pain but it took only 7 minutes to deliver by bouncing baby boy to the real world.
I stayed at the recovery room to rest but after two hours they woke me up because it’s time to nurse my gummy bear. It was our first getting to know stage, I had some help latching him but he won’t suck on my left breast so I always had to offer the right one. Everything was more calmer now, just the two of us inside the recovery room. When he finished nursing, they took him to the nursery to run some few tests. I was then transferred into my room when I saw my mom gazing at the nursery area. She finally saw her first grandchild.
When I arrived at my room, I was surprised to see my friends, it was already 11 in the evening so I didn’t expect to see visitors that late, but my dear friend really lived up to her promise that she will be present on the day I will give birth to my little warrior. I was able to rest for an hour but was asked to go back to the nursery to nurse my baby. He was still not allowed to be roomed-in with me because they have to run a few tests. It was all a struggle, I was still in pain and trying to move was always a challenge. But I guess I was an ultimate survivor since I was able to walk 5 hours after I gave birth. I was still feeling groggy from all the medicines that were injected and I still have wires getting along the way. Even if I was not allowed to take a bath according to some old wives tale, I insisted. It was difficult yes, but I can’t be a wimp and cry over to my mom. I had to be strong for me and for my baby. The husband was always calling to check up on my needs, he felt guilty because he wasn’t present to help me. I, on the other hand, felt relieved because the postpartum experience became a breeze for me. It made me stronger everyday, I was gaining back my strength and on the day that we were discharged, I was doing well already.
I am just so thankful that it was not as bad as I thought it would be, I had this fear of being admitted to a hospital and getting wired up with so many things. But I felt braver now, tougher as you may describe it but the most important thing is how amazing it feels to be complete after seeing and holding my baby. I couldn’t be any happier with my life. Being a new mom, brought me some moments that I felt like a superwoman, that I am proud that I have survived and was able to pushed my body to do something to the extreme. This feeling of accomplishment and strength is really unmatched for. Yes, pregnancy was a challenge even though I enjoyed it and being in labor was hard. It was painful, but it was the kind of challenge and experience that I would go through a thousand times over just to be able to see and hold my precious little warrior Sven. I am so thankful for this one of a kind experience, it was amazing, it was intense and I finally understood the real essence of being a Woman.
Welcome my Little Warrior.
Sven Jadmielle Veloso-Selma | April 04, 2016 | 7:32 p.m. | 6.8 lbs