I remember a post by Gizelle about how blogging has help her overcome her insecurities in life. As for me I have a number of things to be in-secured about. Growing up being tease with “big eyes” is never easy, the whole reason for that was my poor body frame, I was so skinny when I was young thus when people see my sparkling eyes my school mates would tease me “dakog mata” (this means big eyes) not until I bloomed into a lady. Curves came in and people does not seem to notice the eyes anymore. Also, I have never been so insecured in my entire life when I got rashes in college, it was an allergic reaction due to some unknown reason, no doctor was able to heal them, so my mom and I went to a quack doctor and miraculously the rashes were gone in a few days. I had to suffer wearing longsleeves during summer and my mom would tie my hands so that I won’t scratch them at night. The quack doctor said, that it was due to an anonymous voodoo curse because of my white and flawless skin. I had to participate in a week of burning ashes and not taking a bath, just imagine my suffering but at the end all is well now. My mom has given me some charm bracelets to protect myself from voodoo curses, she did not realize that in a modern city like Cebu, there are still a lot of extra superstitious mishaps happening.
the keloid scars on my back and shoulder 😀
But then those insecurities went away because of one skin problem that I have. As you see my mom never knew that I was a keloid former. When I had my first vaccination, the doctor mistakenly injected it on my shoulders, it was a general rule to have it on a kids bottom in case any complication that might react from it. I thought the scar would go away not until it grew bigger and bigger. One bad thing was I always prick the small pimples at my back when I was still in high school and yes, scratching is my number one bad habit. Because of that it happened to create little wounds and scars at my back as a result it formed another keloid scar. So when we went to a dermatologist to have it removed, he said that it was impossible since it will form another keloid scar. The best option is to have it removed via laser or have it injected by steroids and remove it.
So many expensive options but then I gave up. There are so many reason why, I have embraced to love my keloid scars, I do not mind if kids will touch it and ask what is it. I am more than happy that it’s located at my back and shoulder because I know some, who has them on their faces and breasts. So I considered myself lucky, there are so many options to hide my keloids but I do not mind wearing revealing clothes because for me it is just a matter of SELF confidence. I am just glad that these scars are not deadly, maybe soon if I have saved the enough amount of money for surgery or maybe if I win the lotto.
Right now, I am happy with what I have, I believe no one is perfect but if there are some who happen to be gifted to have the best physical features in their self trust me there will always be something that would count as a flaw, because I believe that my flaws and imperfections makes me so real and true.
How about you? Have you embraced your insecurities? Have an awesome Thursday everyone!!!
dress: maxi dress from Cebu
necklace: 3layered pink necklage gifted from vannie
shell beads gifted from my aunt
pink beads from Cebu
rings: Elle Veztida and Bangkok
hat: Carbon market
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